“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”

— Jordan Peterson

Comparison is a self-esteem killer and the self-talk that follows is usually very critical and negative. It erodes the value we hold of ourselves.

According to research by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, comparative thought accounts for 12% of all thoughts. And it is so easy to get caught up comparing yourself to others – whether it is in their appearance or in the progress and success you see others achieve.

The gym, for example, is a place where physical ability and appearance are on display the most. However, comparing your skills with someone who is more advanced than you or wishing for another’s six-pack abs is a quick way to lose your way on your own path in life.

Stay in your own lane

Because the hard work and time successful people put in are usually behind the scenes, all we see are the results of their labor. Their blood, sweat, tears, and self-discipline are hidden from our view. Think about (and appreciate) the work it took for that person to get the skill or physique you desire. Then ask yourself: What can I do to work towards getting the results I want?

“Always remember, the goals that we have achieved pale in comparison to the daily commitments it took to get there.”

— Coach Dabo Swinney

There are a lot of people out there wanting to go to the gym or to go for a run in the park, but they are afraid of what others may think of them. They are comparing themselves to the people around them. Don’t let comparison stunt your personal growth. Lace-up, put on some headphones, and do your thing! Gain confidence by bringing a buddy, asking a trainer to show you around the gym, or going when there are not a lot of people. Little by little, your confidence will improve, and you won’t care who sees you.

This applies to all areas of life. Make the time to study or practice your craft more; brainstorm new ways to be creative; challenge yourself to take more risks. When your confidence is up, comparison will subside.

Theodore Roosevelt is famously quoted as saying, “comparison is the thief of joy.” If you are happy doing what you’re doing, the worst thing you can do is stop and look at what the other person is doing.

When used in a healthy way, comparison can boost you in the right direction when you are looking to make a change in your life. Here’s what I mean: The most productive way of comparing yourself to others is by asking yourself:

How much work am I putting in to get the results I seek?
What are their habits and routines?
Who do they spend their time around?
How do they spend their time?
What are they doing differently that I can incorporate into my own life?

Use the person you are comparing yourself to as a gauge to see where you need to improve – but then move on.

You vs. You

When it comes down to it, you are your only competition in this life. Who you were 10 years ago, one week ago, or one day ago is who you should measure yourself against today. Ask yourself:

How have I grown?
How did I improve?
How did I fail?
Am I proud of who I am today?
Whose lives have I touched?

Let it go

No matter how successful you are, there will always be someone more successful. Measuring yourself up with others is not a productive use of time. When you feel yourself going into comparison mode, redirect your thoughts. Take a deep breath and think of how far you have progressed in life and what you are most thankful for. Also, instead of comparing, try connecting to the person. Ask them how they got where they are. Maybe they can help you achieve your aspirations.

If you fear others are comparing their lives to yours, please remember that people are so involved in their own lives and in the middle of their own “stuff” that you are not even on their radar, so don’t let them be on your radar. The time you waste comparing your life to others can be used to pinpoint and honor where you are at and focus on going where you want in life. No grown adult should ever look down on someone else because they are not at the same level – or the same chapter – as they are. If they do, that is a testimony to their flawed character, not to you.